My little Ramadhan miracle
This happened in the Ramadhan of 2015, just after I converted.
I was extremely grouchy on this day for 3 reasons:
- Aizat told me that the mosque we were going to had no aircon
- Aizat and I were supposed to have our iftar at a Pasar Malam but he changed our plan at the very last minute to meet at Orchard instead (and I hate Orchard)
- I was craving for vadai (vegetable fritters) to break fast with but again, we were in the middle of Orchard (Aizat still had the audacity to say, "Where to find vadai in Orchard! HAHA")
I tried to convince Aizat that we could perform our tarawih prayers at our own respective homes instead. For some reason, he was adamant that we do it at the mosque that night.
Cue black face.
And I maintained that black face all the way to mosque, while grumbling that I have never performed tarawih prayers in a mosque without aircon and he is going to be the reason that I will hate performing tarawih at the mosque forever. He did not seem to care after the first 10 minutes of trying to cheer me up.
When I reached the mosque, I took my wudhu (still with the black face) and waited for Aizat to bring me to the women's prayer area. The place was undergoing renovation so it was quite disorienting.
"Women's prayer is here. Meet you outside later ok?"
I walked in without acknowledging him because I was angry.
As I walked in, I felt a cool gust of air. Oh. It wasn't that warm. Maybe I will be able to manage without any aircon. I placed my bag at the back of the room and got myself ready for my prayers. It was then I noticed a portable aircon in the room. Ohhh.
Alhamdulillah, I thought to myself sheepishly, realizing that I was acting like such a brat earlier. There was aircon after all.
I felt bad for treating Aizat the way I did earlier, so I messaged him about it. He told me that the original women's praying area is undergoing renovation, so they cordoned off an area for us in the main prayer hall. The portable aircon was probably a temporary thing; the women's area didn't usually have aircon. He told me I ought to be thankful to Allah for the ways things turned out in my favour.
And so I had a pleasant tarawih experience that night. I sought Allah's forgiveness for being the brat that I was and thanked him for blessing me in spite of my actions. At the end of the prayers, I turned to salam an elderly woman next to me. She smiled at me and I smiled back.
As I was packing my telekung at the back of my room, I felt a tap on my shoulder. The same lady smiled at me again.
I held my hand out to give her my salam when she shoved a plastic bag into my hands. "For you," she said.
I thanked her and quickly packed my stuff to meet Aizat on the outside. I couldn't wait to tell him about everything that has happened today. It was so.... pleasant. That was despite the fact that I carried a diseased heart into the mosque - Allah's sacred home.
It was as though Allah was teaching me a lesson. That there wasn't a need to stress out about things before they even happen. If Allah wants you to have it, He wills it to be so. And He is capable of everything! You want aircon is a non air-conditioned place? There you go! Nothing is too difficult for Allah.
When I finally met up with Aizat, I told him about what happened.
"See how much Allah loves you? You want aircon, he gives you aircon. He knows it is difficult for you, and so he makes it easy for you. Don't angry angry next time ok? Patience."
"What's that?" he pointed at the plastic bag.
"Oh, the auntie gave me!" I opened the plastic bag and we both looked it.
When we saw what was inside, goosebumps crept over our skin.
It was a bag full of vadai.
"Oh my god! Is it vadai, boop? It's vadai right?" I said as tears inexplicably formed in my eyes.
"MASHA ALLAH. Who knew we could get vadai in the middle of Orchard road!" Aizat laughed.
"Uh oh! I want to cry!" Tears fell from my face as I clutched the plastic tighter in my hands.
"What uh oh? Alhamdulillah, boop. You see? Allah loves you SOOOOO much!"
For the rest of the walk to the bus stop, I was silent. Aizat just kept looking at me and repeating how it was "so amazing we managed to get vadai. In the middle of Orchard road!"
When we got to the bus stop, Aizat said, "Eat it boop! Eat the vadai, It's direct from Allah. Sure taste like heaven."
It might have, it might have not. To be honest, I forgot how it tasted. I gobbled up everything while crying so I could barely taste anything.
But that didn't matter, all that matters is that I tasted it all - His mercy, His love, and all of that sweetness - in my heart.
Masha Allah. And that was my first Ramadhan miracle.